I'll always be with you...

I'll see you somewhere in the sky..

God is.....

God is the joy and strength in my life...He moves all pain, misery and strife...He promised to keep me, never to leave me, He's never ever fallen short of His word...have to fast and pray, stay in the narrow way...keep my life clean everyday...I want to go with Him when He comes back...I've come to far, and I will never turn back...God is...my God is my all in all.

R.I.P William Michael "Mickey" Traylor

I Just found out a family friend passed away yesterday his nickname was "mickey" apparently he was out drinking with friends at someone's house or something i'm not sure  yet if he stayed at his friends house or went home but they found him dead.  i'm like in shock right now because no-one was expecting this.  he was just here last month with his dad and i remember i was in my room typing a 8 page paper and i heard a knock at my door, i thought it was my cousin so i didn't answer  because he could just easily walk in like he always did but it was mickey.  This boy was so in love with me it didn't make any sense, lol he was so adorable. i met him last summer when he came over with his dad (which is my mom's best friend since me & my twin was 1 yrs. old.) being that he was still living in ohio i didn't pursue a relationship with him  because me & long distance relationships just doesn't work  but everyone knew we wanted to be together  it was obvious.. but his dad told me he  was planning on moving here & surprising me & when he  was suppose to come here for thanksgiving in a few days which means we would of def. ended up together as a couple (officially)  but God had other plans for him... this is the craziest shxt ever  that i had to deal with but i'm so glad we had some good memories together that i will never forget & i always enjoyed his company, we spent last christmas together this was when we had our first kiss... man we def. had a blast and being i don't usually like christmas (because it's not the same since my grandma passed) he made sure i enjoyed it like that was something he just HAD to do..  everytime he was in town he had to make it his mission to come see me he wouldn't be worried about nothing else but me,whatever he could do that meant spending time with me he would do in a heartbeat, he came over a few days after christmas and we just watched sanford and son  & laughed our heads off and i ended up falling asleep in his arms & it felt so right like thats where i belonged. lil things like that i'm going to miss about him. he was also a writter, he loved writting poems and he wrote me one  while he was back home in ohio it was thee cutest thing i wish some how i could get that poem from his house idk how though.. & you know  the crazy thing is i was thinking about him earlier when i woke up and then a few hrs later my mom gets the call. Damn... i can't believe he is gone...  he had his whole life to live.. he was only 26, he just Graduated with a degree in Education and he wanted to be a specials ed. teacher.. His death opened my eyes to so much, we don't know the exact causes yet but i'm thinking it's alcohol posioning, or he threw up in his sleep and choked. he was indeed a heavy drinker the type that no-matter how much he had to drink he never looked drunk so he basically had a high tolerance. everytime he came over here he always said "lets get a bottle." the last time he was here a few wks. ago we all had drinks because he wanted to get a bottle. drirnking was just his thing. my mom told me to be careful with my drinking even though i don't drink nearly that much, i still do on occasions or if i go out, or at get togethers but  & being that my 21st is coming up in like 12 days, she just doesn't want anything like that happening to me or anybody for that matter. I mean its ok to have fun & enjoy yourself but not get over board.  I will be careful but i will take one shot for him on my bday.. I wont be able to say my Goodbyes at the funeral because he lives in ohio i really wish i could go but then again i don't think i could do it, i don't want to remember him laying in a casket, i rather remember him making me laugh & always being silly. his father is driving down in the morning to help his mother plan the funeral. (lord please be with his family during this difficult time.) I Love You Mickey forever & always , please watch over me bae. (R.I.P)


UPDATE :

11/25/09

I have been trying to keep my composure for the past couple of days but last night & tonight i couldn't hold it in any longer and i broke down being that when i first found out on sunday i haven't cried & everyday i keep getting reminded that he is no longer here & it really hurts to the core.. being in my room or even sitting in my living room all the places he was in my house makes me feel overwhelmed. today did it though, i never cried so hard in so long. earlier today me, my sis and our mom was talking and my sis said "he was moving here, he would of ended up being my brother in law because yall would of def. been together. no questions asked." & then she went into talking about the last time he was here last month and he said hi to her and the next thing out his mouth was "where jazz at ?" lol i talked about this above ^. but man his death is really hard for me to deal with, i'm praying it get's easier. I know he's in a better place but being it was so unexpectedly it's really hard to accept. But i have to remember God doesn't make mistakes & we all have a day where will leave this earth but only he know's these dates. I just wish i could of said Goodbye but i guess the last time he was here visiting was our "Goodbye" and we had no idea that would be the last hug & the last kiss. I'm going to try to take things day by day i know in due time it will get better. pray for me yall. i really , really need it. his dad said he will bring me some pictures and the obituary back when he get's back in town so i can have something to remember him by his picture is already on my blackberry screen so he's the first thing i see when i wake up & the last thing i see before i go to bed... I guess i'm about to try and get some much needed sleep.

Just Do it...

That is life...

Quote me.

Something we all need...

Rose, West

Bow tie

used to...

love

hearts

tissue love

Precious

I went to see this movie with my twin  and her best friend.. we have been dying to see it when we first heard it was coming out but after i watched it we all were disappointed.. we didn't like the movie at all.. it just consisted of her mom (Mo'Nique) cursing at her the whole time, telling her she won't be shxt and she ugly and no-one will  ever need or want her. (this went on damn near the whole movie). i mean it had it's sad and funny parts but i ust didn't like it at all. Gabby sidibe can indeed act very well but this movie just pissed me off. My expectations were too high i guess. my mom even went to see it last night with her friend and she called me and my sis and said she didn't like it either.. like i remember we was sitting in the theatre and my sis best friend blurpted out "ok where is the climax of this movie." the ending left me like ummm.. ok..   i give it a two thumbs down but hey thats just my opinion, my sis opinion & her best friend opinion oh and don't forget my mom & her friend opinion as well.

Big Rih-Turn!!!

So rihanna's album got leaked and i just finished listening to all her songs.. i abs. LOVE all the songs off her album. my favorites are "cold case love", "Fire Bomb", "G4L" & "rockstar 101" damn near all of em' are my faves lol!! def. picking this up on monday! she did her thing in my opinion.

Raw Vegan

I have been thinking about becoming a Raw Vegan.. I'm already a vegetarian and have been for about 5 going on 6 years, it was def. a big change but i'm glad i did it..  everyone always ask me "how did you do it?", i'm like it's really not that hard.. my twin and my mom who i live with eats meat still and it urks my nerves every time she cooks meat especially when she thaws it out in the microwave, the smell makes me sick to my stomach so she has to use incense (yeah it's that bad). my friends think i'm weird though, i already don't drink pop (some call it soda but i'm from buffalo & we call it pop) lol. simply because it isn't healthy & i'm not a fan of sugar, my teeth are very sensitive so me & sugar don't really get along that much, not saying i don't eat candy i do here and there but not often. i haven't had pop in about 6 years as well.  i drink mostly water, in one of my facts i had previously on my award post i explained that i think i'm addicted to water. I'm constantly always drinking something, either water or V8 Juice. maybe i am a weirdo ;-) hahaha but anywho.....

Raw veganism is a diet which combines veganism and raw foodism. It excludes all food of animal origin, and all food cooked above 48 degrees Celsius (118 degrees Fahrenheit). A raw vegan diet includes raw vegetables and fruits, nuts and nut pastes, grain and legume sprouts, seeds, plant oils, sea vegetables, herbs, and fresh juices. There are many different versions of the diet, including fruitarianism, juicearianism, and sproutarianism. Sometimes the definition of a raw vegan diet is loosened to include vegan diets with at least 75% raw foods.

GIMMIE GIMMIE GIMMIE

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

                                                             
                                                       being that i'm  very  Random here is some random ish i thought was cute..  nothing major.

go girl.... it's almost ya birthday lol

My 21st Birthday is in (16 days) i want this new BlackBerry Curve 8530. it's my favorite color so it's an extra plus!! some people have been saying it's ugly but me like!! lol. it comes in red, black, & royal purple so you do have options.. Release date is nov. 20, 2009. it doesn't say what the price is for it though, new customers i believe it will be $99 after mail in rebate but i'm NOT a new customer so that doesn't do me any good lol. anywho i recently order some clothes offline they still haven't arrived i hate when that happens, takes forever & a day i checked and it said it should be here by sat.. when i'm prob. dead sleep, i never hear the door or anything else. but hopefully i'm awake.. i still need a birthday outfit though hahaha.. me & the twin haven't really decided what we are doing yet. possibly just doing dinner & going to happy hour with our closest friends & later that night we might go to this party at 11pm, nothing is set in stone when it comes to us so hmmmm.. we shall see.. me personally i just don't want to enjoy my day, hopefully no-one pisses me off. ;-)

Forever Young.

New Moon!!

11.20.09

I can't wait to see this, being that my sis havent seen the first one i might to go see this by myself lol. can't wait!!!!

Having a bad day.

This picture explains exactly how i feel right now. I'm stressed out to the max right now.. school has me physically & mentally drained..

pray for me yall.

Taylor Momsen

love, love ,love her!

Agyness Deyn

She's Dope please don't tell me different..

something to live by...

Beginning today, treat everyone you meet as if they were going to be dead by midnight. Extend to them all the care,kindness and understanding you can muster and do it with no thought of reward. Your life will never be the same.

Just A Reminder..

I want this forever.

No Worries.

one day at a time.

Be Hopeful.

sleepless night.

I have class at 9am.. & i haven't been to sleep yet, well obviously i won't be getting any sleep until classes is over today... =/ ugh.. i did some studying until 1:30 am i layed in bed and i couldn't fall asleep which sucks ass because now i'm about to be a F'n zombie & i have a test in my first class.. GRRRRRRRRR!!!!!!! but i did just get up and said F it and started reviewing notes & my index cards, i guess you can say i'm using my non-sleepless time wisely.. (sigh) I will be dead sleep when i get from school today with my phone on silent Thank God i get out @ 12:50 on fridays....

                                                       Happy Friday  Blog Fam[ily]!!
                                                                    TGIF

Dear Summer '09..

I miss not getting any sleep until the next day, being out until the next morning & getting home when the birds are chirping & while my mom getting up for work i'm just going to bed, sleeping late & doing everything the previous day all over again, having get together's every wk.end, boat rides , some warm weather, wearing shorts, Barbeques at my house, not having a care in the world, late night IHOP & denney's stops, random walmart shopping late at night with my two fav. guys, hitting the chipp. strip on sat night,making new friends, & unfortunately losing friends as well, going to the zoo, random trips at 3 am, enjoying each other's company, laughing until our stomachs hurt... Summer '09 was good one even though our weather was pretty shitty..  This wasn't the best summer but it was good for what it was i gained a great friendship & i got closer with an old friend. I learned a lot about my self this summer, i have learned who was important to me, i reconciled the relationship with my father i even eliminated negative people out my life. this summer was indeed a lesson learned.  i can't wait to welcome Summer '10